How ya'll doin' Man

One of the most common stereotypes about Americans is that their interest is "fake." It usually starts the second you walk into a store and someone asks, "How are you doing?"

Americans do things with an abundance of enthusiasm. Unlike the average Dutch person, they can make something simple sound like the greatest thing ever. So, when someone asks how you are, it feels like they really want your life story. In reality, it’s just how they say "hello." It’s exactly the same as saying “Hoi, hoe gaat het” in the Netherlands. They don’t actually want a medical report; they just want a friendly "Good, and you?" back.

Once you strip away the extra layers of excitement, it’s really just common friendliness and politeness.

You see it while shopping, too. You’ll hear "Excuse me" constantly. It’s not meant to be confrontational; it’s just a way of saying, "I’m near you," or "I'm passing through your personal bubble." Being Dutch, I’m used to walking fast, squeezing through gaps, and zipping past people without a word. I’m sure some people here think I’m incredibly rude! If an American ended up in a Dutch supermarket, they’d probably just stand there saying "Excuse me" forever while everyone else zoomed around them.

It leads to some pretty funny moments, though. I was in a store once, looking for something on a top shelf. Two older ladies—both under five feet tall—passed in front of me. Even though they were a good three or four feet away, they both chirped, “Excuse me!”

Being 6'6", I barely even noticed they were there until they spoke. I looked down and said, “No problem, I’m pretty sure I can see right over you.” They started laughing and told me I was the tallest thing they’d ever seen.

The funny thing is, while the "How are you" might be a formality, if you do strike up a real conversation, Americans will listen and also tell you everything. To a Dutch person, it can feel like total oversharing. I still feel a bit awkward when a stranger starts telling me about their recent surgery or their family drama!

I’m still learning, of course. Sometimes, if my head is somewhere else, I’ll still mumble a reply in Dutch to a cashier. And I’ll admit, I mostly only use “Excuse me” in a passive-aggressive way when someone is truly blocking my path.

I guess you can take the man out of the Netherlands, but I’m still very much a Dutch driver in a West Virginian grocery store.