I'm the Tax Man

This isn’t about the Beatles song; this is about Uncle Sam. Of all the things that are different between the US and the Netherlands, the financial systems are the most baffling.

Last week, I filed our tax forms as a married couple. Since I don't have a Social Security Number yet, I had to apply for an ITIN (Individual Taxpayer Identification Number). This is where the true American "adventure" began.

In the Netherlands, tax season is almost effortless. You log in to a government portal, and your form is already pre-filled with everything they know about you—which is a lot. For the average citizen, it’s just a matter of checking the boxes and clicking "send." Simple.

America has a different philosophy. The IRS offers you the forms—basically PDFs you fill out yourself. The real digital heavy lifting is done by a "Middleman Alliance": private companies that let you use their software for free—unless you earn over a certain amount. Then you have to pay. I mean, this is America.

We started with one of these systems, but after hours of work, we ran into a massive snag. Because I was filing with an ITIN application, the return had to be submitted in paper form. I expected the software to simply print the final result with a few blanks. Alas, no such thing. Without an SSN, the software refused to produce an end result at all. So, it was back to old-school paper, a calculator, and a lot of patience.

The other big shock? The layering. In the Netherlands, you pay your taxes and you’re done. Here, you pay Federal taxes, then State taxes on the same money, and potentially municipal taxes on top of that. Between my wife's job and her side work, we weren't just filling out the standard 1040; we were sorting through six additional documents just to prove we were following the rules. And here’s the kicker: you have to send your payment with the forms and wait weeks for Uncle Sam to tell you if you did your math correctly.

By the time we were finished, I felt like I’d completed a university-level math exam. In the US, "freedom" includes the freedom to do the government's accounting for them.

But the tax fun doesn’t stop with the IRS. You also have to deal with Sales Tax, the American cousin of our BTW. In the Netherlands, if you have 10 euros and an item costs 10 euros, you buy it. Here, if you have a 10-dollar bill, do not buy a 10-dollar item. The tax is added at the register, leaving you perpetually short on cash.

There are many theories as to why. Some say it’s so shops don't have to change labels if the tax rate fluctuates (which is rare); others say it’s a political move to show you exactly how much Uncle Sam is taking from your pocket. It seems logical until you realize you’d have to audit your own grocery receipt to see which items are exempt and which aren't. And then, for some reason, gas prices do include the tax on the sign.

So, if you walk into a "Five Below" store with exactly five dollars in your hand, prepare for the heartbreak of being 35 cents short. 😊